Some people just don’t do relationships. Why is it such a crime to be single and why is a person’s value judged by whether he or she has a significant other or not? Being single is just a choice – it doesn’t make you right or wrong, a success or a failure. You gotta choose what makes you happy.
Some people (and it might be most of us at the certain point of our lives) keep sacrificing themselves in relationships to “make the relationship work”, to “show they love the other person”, so they can receive the validation that “they are good lovers and they are loved”. Isn’t that the moment when the most of relationship problems begin?
What if most of the loving acts or attraction thinking we do are just based on judgments?
Some people decide who is attractive, based on what the media defines as attractive (other people’s judgments), what their family and friends tell them are desirable (other people’s judgments), but not what they truly like. No wonder people find the person they “thought” they initially fell in love with, gradually becoming not as desirable… because they never really seen that person for who he or she really is, in the first place!
Starting with a pragmatic definition of the word itself – “relationship”
- the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected or the state of being connected
- the state of being connected by blood or marriage
- the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other
are measured by how far the distance is between the two objects (or people) and there will always be a degree of separation.
It is intimacy we truly would like to have, not a mere relationship. What if a true intimacy is achieved only when all the barriers are down and there are no judgments in between? Just an acknowledgment of what the other person is good, bad and ugly… and magically unique when they are being themselves from their own Heart of the Hearts…
Certain places in the book are confusing and mind twisting in the first reading and for a right purpose. They make you stop and return in the text before you get that wonderful AHA moment and you’ll start chuckling under your breath while reading more…
Overall author Gary Douglas does get the point though, we cut off pieces of ourselves to make others happy and we don’t need to divorce ourselves especially in the most important relationship. The relationship, or rather communion with ourselves.
Use this book to bring joy and happiness back into your life while rediscovering you.
I recommend it to anyone who wants to live more conscious, joyful, happy life. Just read it and see, whether it will change your point of view on relationships or not.